Happiness

 People want to be happy, but don’t seem to be able to understand what happiness is, let alone know how to achieve it. To tackle this problem, it should be recognised that there is more than one kind of happiness. Perhaps because we only have one word for it, we fail to acknowledge the fact that there is more than one way to achieve the state of being happy. The types of happiness I’ve experienced and witnessed are -

The happiness of innocence

This is the happiness of childhood in which we don’t have a care in the world and can play to our hearts content with friends sheltered from reality. Living is easy and knowledge of the big bad world is absent or lost. Adults can return to this state when they get drunk together, or experience music at a festival, or watch their team win at sport. The troubles of their lives and the world are temporarily forgotten at least until the next day, or for Children when they grow up and learn about reality and life’s problems.

The happiness of parenthood.

The joy of a mother and father at the birth of their children is often described as the happiest moment of their lives. This is something I’ve not experienced first hand, so I will have to take their word for it. Perhaps it’s a deep rooted biological emotion, programmed in to us to ensure the continuation of the species.

The happiness of delusion

An epitaph on a grave stone I came across  read “Always Cheerful”. More like “Completely deluded” I thought to myself.

 I don’t think it is normal to be always happy, as if we were always happy, how would we know we were happy? Happiness must be relative to how we were feeling at an earlier time. As children do we recognise that we are happy or do we later realise how happy we were? If our football team always won, how boring would that be? Aren’t we happier when our team unexpectedly beats a much better side, or we are about to achieve something every one said was impossible?

To experience happiness you have to experience sadness, and humans, at every moment of their lives, are on a  continuum spanning from very sad through to very happy . Being sad all the time is not healthy. Being happy all the time ie deluded, is just madness. Being in the middle is normal and nothing to worry about.

Social Happiness

Being social animals, we crave social acceptance and adulation. All of the above forms of happiness are magnified by sharing with other people, and the more the merrier. Having lots of friends, who act and think like you, means we have status, a support network and hence an easier life. The opposite, ie enemies, people telling you re wrong, and being a loner means you cannot achieve the happiness of innocence, parenthood or achievement. You can achieve the happiness of delusion, but it would be a false happiness, such as the happiness of a religious hermit, who thinks he only needs Gods love to be happy.  
 
The happiness of a worthwhile, recognised achievement

For me, the greatest happiness is experienced when you are about to achieve with your friends, a noble, near impossible, worthwhile goal that earns you status, adulation and respect from your social group.

I say “about” to achieve, because when you accomplish the goal, it always seems to be an anticlimax, and not as satisfying as when you and your friends first realise that you are going to achieve what you didn’t really know was achievable. The moment of success is quickly tainted by the daunting realisation and emptiness of “What next?”.    

This is why I choose to “Make the World a Better Place”. I will never achieve complete success, but small victories along the way, make me very happy.